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How to be There for a Grieving Loved One When You Can't See Them in Person

How to be There for a Grieving Loved One When You Can't See Them in Person

Long distance relationships and friendships take a lot of work, but when we work hard at them and put in enough effort, they’re incredibly rewarding and bring a lot of joy to our lives. Sadly, when someone you care about has experienced a sudden loss, it makes those who are miles away feel utterly helpless.

Sympathising with Someone who is Grieving From a Far Can be Difficult

Watching a loved one experience a loss and enter the grieving process from afar, is incredibly distressing, and frustrating. Sometimes, a message to someone who has lost a loved one in a condolence card just isn’t enough to express how much you want to help and how much you care. During these moments, you want to take their pain away, alleviate the stress and pressure they’re under and do anything you can to make them feel better as their world continues to be rocked by grief and heartbreak.

 Perhaps you live on the other side of the country or even the world, or maybe current restrictions in your area are making travel difficult or unattainable right now. Whatever your situation, prioritising your long-distance connections have never been more important, especially if you’re unable to attend the funeral ceremony. Even the smallest of gestures can make the biggest difference to someone you love, who is struggling after a loss. Let’s take a look at how you can be there for a grieving loved one, when you can't see them in person.

Woman wearing feather plume jewellery

The Importance Of Remembrance

If you suddenly passed away, wouldn’t you want to be remembered? There are so many different reasons why celebrating the life of a loved one is important, and it’s something we can all relate to, after all, we all want to leave our mark. Therefore, it’s essential that we not only honour the wishes of our loved ones and remember the impact they had, but also the influence and effect they had on the lives of friends and family they left behind. Remembrance is important for everyone, and some of the reasons given here, explain why it’s something we all seek out in the event of a death.

Woman lying in a field wearing jewellery

Craft A Heart-Felt Condolence Message

Whether you’re racking your brains trying to think of a best friend's dad's passed away message, or you’re struggling to think of the perfect style of bereavement messages for the loss of a husband, knowing what to write within a condolence card is enough to keep you awake at night. No one wants to put their foot in it, or miss the perfect opportunity to express their sympathies and let them know that you’re there to support them. Depending on your relationship with your loved one and your own connection to the deceased (if any) there are numerous approaches. You might want to keep it short and sweet, or even bring comfort with your words by letting them know that their loved one was well thought of and will be missed. Let’s take a look at some examples.

Simple Condolences

Perhaps you want to keep it short and sweet. If so, you may want to consider:

  • I’m holding you close in my thoughts.
  • I’m going to miss them too.
  • My thoughts are with you and your family. 
  • I’m keeping you in my thoughts.

A pair of hands with a silver feather ring on a finger

Messages Of Support

Sometimes, being straightforward and honest in your condolence message is the best approach, especially if your relationship with your loved one is particularly close. When creating bereavement messages for loss of a son, or another passing it’s only natural that we want to offer help and support as our loved one enters the grieving process, this is why being honest about your support and not veiling it behind conventional words of sympathy is essential. Consider these options for your message while you can’t see them in person.

  • I wish I could be there with you.
  • I’m here for you in so many ways.
  • I’m going to call you every day and for as long as you need me to.
  • If there’s anything I can take care of for you from a distance, please let me know. 

What Not to Include In Your Sympathy Message

It’s not always easy to get the tone of a message to someone who has lost a loved one, right. Especially when you’re offering support and sympathy from a distance. However, knowing what not to say can make it easier to find the right words during this complicated and upsetting time. Avoid these phrases in your sympathy message to keep your words of comfort, sensitive and appropriate.

  • I know how you must feel – Every journey through grief is different.
  • It’s all part of God’s plan – Not everyone takes comfort from religious views, especially after death.
  • They had a good life – This won’t bring comfort to someone who is experiencing a loss
  • Everything happens for a reason – This may bring up feelings of animosity and bitterness around the cause of death.

Mother and child hands with jewellery

Other Ways To Show Support From Afar

Once you’ve chosen your bereavement messages for the loss of a husband or another loved one, it’s time to consider other ways that you can show support from afar. Even the most modest of gestures can show that you’re thinking of them and that you’re ready to help. In the aftermath of a death, it’ll be all too easy for your loved one to become overwhelmed with flowers, phone calls and messages from friends and distant relatives. A gesture from you, however – despite the distance between you – could make all the difference. Consider these ways you can show support for a grieving loved one from afar.

Send Them A Care Package

Receiving a care package in the mail from you will mean so much to them during this difficult period. You could also include your best friend's dad's passed away message for condolence card within your care package, so you can share your sentiments and a practical gesture simultaneously. There are plenty of things you can share in a care package including:

  • Toiletries and self-care items to help them to take care of themselves.
  • Food and sustenance, even a selection of their favourite treats, so they’ll always have something available to eat. 
  • Items that can bring comfort such as candles, bath bombs, blankets and even a journal.
  • Photos and personal mementoes of your relationship as a reminder of how much you care for them. 

Memorial Jewellery 

Helping your grieving friend to maintain their spiritual connection to their lost loved one can bring comfort and solace during this painful process. While bereavement messages for loss of a son can provide comfort, one of the best ways to help them maintain a spiritual connection, is through a piece of carefully selected and lovingly crafted memorial jewellery.

From delicate memorial necklaces and glittering Dual Plume Pendants to Angelic Rings and Silver Bracelets charged with spiritual healing powers that draw strength from the spirit realm, the right piece of memorial jewellery would make a wonderful gesture and even strengthen the bonds between you, whilst you’re separated.

White feather, silver feather ring and a poem card

Remind Them How Much You Love Them

Whether it’s a daily phone call or a weekly catch up, your friend needs to know that they’re loved and supported during this difficult time. Even if they’re not ready to accept help, just knowing that you’re there can make the grieving process easier. So, ensure you remind them regularly of how much you love them.


Grief doesn’t just go away and there will be certain times of the year that your friend or loved one finds everything extremely difficult. Try to think ahead, and keep the lines of communication open, but most importantly – listen. Whether they want someone to act as if everything is normal and have an everyday conversation with, or they want someone they can let it all out in front of without fear of judgement or appraisal, you can be that person, wherever you are, as long as you’re listening.

Final Thoughts…

As a long-distance friend or partner, you must make ongoing efforts to sympathise and support your loved one. Sending a message to someone who has lost a loved one, shouldn’t come to an end after a few weeks. Maintain these levels of support and check-in whenever you can so you can help them through one of the most difficult periods of their lives.